Emo Vampires
by gavner's lover
Summary: Authored by two : R
1. weird?

Me and my friend emily( that's right folk) have loads of random thoughts about the book and have decided to make them into stories! The first chapters by me,the em, then me etc... See if you can tell which one of use loves kurda and which one of us hates him it'll be obvious in later chapters. By the way the storys told will change... without further ado enjoy!

gavner's lover

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"Gaaaaaaaaaaavner" Darren called for what seemed the millionth time.

"Vanez, Mr Crepsssssssssly" where can they all be he thought to himself when he heard Kurda's voice.

"When I get a hold of him this time I swear...How many times must I tell them" He came round the corner fumbling through some maps and mumbling (pretty loudly) to himself.

"Tell who?" asked Darren. Kurda looked up like he was hearing things, then saw Darren and smiled.

"Oh it's nothing" he said starting to walk off again.

"You can tell me, there's no one around for me to tell and why would I? " Darren said starting to walk too.

"No really it's NOTHING" he said speeding up.

"It MUST be something why else are you running then" Darren was now jogging to keep up.

"Who's running …I'm not running…" his eyes were darting from door to door. Then he saw a weirdly shape rock and let out a weird laugh.

"Ah ha! I've found them this time" Kurda took a left closely followed by Darren moaning to know more when they stopped outside a huge door. Kurda took out a hair pin, ignoring the weird looks from Darren, and fumbled to unlock the door. He pushed it open triumphantly and they both looked in on the weirdest scene.

All the vampires Darren had been looking for were crammed into this room all gazing up at what seemed to be a demonstration led by Gavner & Mika. But it got weirder as they all had knifes out…

_inches away from there wrists…_


	2. wise young kurda

This chapter is by that's right folk, aka Emily Rose Gut. We're writing a story together coz we're cool, i hope you enjoy it.

that's right folk

* * *

Darren looked at the room in wonder. 

"What are they doing?" he asked.

"That's a good question!" Kurda replied, looking at the scene with disgust in his blue eyes.

At that moment, Gavner, who was in the centre of the room looked up. He nudged Mika who was next to him, his black hair covering his face.

"Please!" Gavner shouted. "It's not what it looks like!"

Kurda just shook his head, his blonde hair swaying in the breeze (from a nearby fan).

"O - M - G!" shouted Darren.

"Please, Darren," Mika said, "Please, don't judge us."

"O - M - G!" Darren shouted again.

"He's in shock." Kurda noted. He grimaced. "And now, what are you doing?"

"We… erm… we heard lions!" shouted Arrow.

"What?" asked Kurda. "Listen you lot! You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Self harm is for the emotionally challenged adolescent, not fully grown vampires."

The vampires listened to his words of wisdom, and inside they suddenly understood.

But Larten Crepsley, who had never liked Kurda, didn't think anything of what he said.

"I do not care for your foolishness." he exclaimed. "All vampires who do not wish to listen to this fool any longer, please proceed and follow me to a nearby hall where we can be alone. As for the rest of you fools, stay with this fool and curse the fact you will always be too foolish to be with the rest of us."

With this, Mr Crepsley stood up and many vampires followed him, including Arra, Gavner, Mika, Paris. In fact the only vampires who didn't go were Kurda, Darren and Kurda's assistants (Cyrus and the two unnamed vampires, for the means of this we will call them Vamp1 and Vamp2, two original and exciting names I thought of myself).

"Fools!" Mr Crepsley shouted to the five vampires who were left.

"Even me!" Darren exclaimed.

"Especially you, Darren." Mr Crepsley said, shaking his head. "I would have thought more of you." And with this he got up and stormed out. Darren started to go after him, to apologise, but Kurda placed his hand on Darren's shoulder.

"Let him go," he said, "He'll come to his senses soon."

"What makes you think this?" Darren asked his idol, Kurda.

"Well," Kurda said, knowledgably, "When I was human I was studying to become a physiatrist. Although I never did complete my course, I was turned to a vampire before I did, I still retain a great deal of knowledge from it."

"I see." Darren nodded his head and stroked his chin.


	3. The self help club!

"See ya… (yawn) same time next week…later" That's the last of them, now if I can just get to my coffin I can-awn) t of them e door ith you" did ya wanna talk to us about"

"Gavner, we need a word with you" I sighed. It was Mika and Crepsly probably eager to move the next meeting to tomorrow or something like that.

"What is it?" I said shutting the door

"It's about what happened tonight" Crepsly replied

"You mean the whole kurda thing, that's no big deal he-"

"As a matter of fact it is a _big deal_ Kurda ruined tonight and is starting to drive away members" Mika said irritably

"Well what do you expect me to do about it?"

"That's for you to figure out" Crepsly said and with that they left leaving me really confused and really tired.

"I'll think about it tomorrow" I said to myself as I started off down the corridors.

"Think about what?" said a voice from behind

"Whoa – oh it's only you kurda" he was stood there holding stacks of paper "What ya think your doing sneaking up on me like that and not to mention butting into a private meeting"

"I hardly think what I saw could be considered a meeting"

"Well as a matter of fact-hey!" he shove a piece of paper in my hand and started heading in the opposite direction

"Did you even hear a word I said?" I yelled

"I have no time to chat I have to hand out all these" I was going to reply but he'd gone and I was now more interested in what he'd just handed me. I turned over the paper to find an advert written by kurda that read this:

_Do you self harm? If so why???_

_Is it to impress others and be part of the crowd? To be cool? Finding it hard to stop now you've begun, feeling there's no hope! Well there is a way. Join Kurda's self help club now and save yourself from yourself. _

Below there was a picture of kurda smiling away. I laughed to myself; this was never going to work, I threw it on the floor and finally went to my coffin for a good days sleep.


	4. the question?

**Does anyone else find Darren very annoying in the books? Like how he jumps to conclusions and tries to kill Mr Crepsley, etc? Well I do, anyway. This chapter is from Darren's point of view, (sorry!!!) **

**That's right folk xxx

* * *

**

Kurda spent all his time passing out leaflets, for the next week. The first session was on next Tuesday, and throughout Vampire Mountain, the attitude was: they didn't want to go.

But, poor young Kurda didn't realise, not until his secret agent (me!) came and updated him on the situation.

"Kurda!" I cried. "Kurda, none of the vampires want to come! Mr Crepsley said he'd rather go bald than come! And you know how important his hair is to him!"

"What?" Kurda was in shock. The look of hurt was back on his face, like when Arra refused to shake his hand. I felt so bad for him that I said "But don't worry, I'll persuade some vampires to come." without thinking about the consequences.

"Really!" Kurda's eyes lit up. "You'd do that for me! Oh thank you so much!"

'_Damn',_ I thought, as I left Kurda, grinning away to himself happily. Kurda was so excited to have people at his little counselling session, but how to persuade them to go?

_Later that day_

"Yo, Mr C," I said, walking up to Mr Crepsley. I am by _far _the coolest vampire, like _ever!_ Mr Crepsley didn't reply, just raised his eyebrows, meaning "What!"

"So, Kurda's little session, sounds like a laugh, don't you think?"

"No, it does NOT." he replied, his voice rising. Oooh he's in a bad mood!

"But Mr Crepsley…" I exclaimed, but was interrupted before I could finish. WELL!

"_NOT ANOTHER WORD!" _he shouted. I'd never seen him this angry before, he was shaking with rage. All I can say is someone got out the wrong side of bed … oops, I mean _coffin!!! (Laughs hysterically)_

Well I'll try and persuade Mr C later, when he's in a better mood. Time for Gavner. I found Gavner in the food hall. Eating.

"Hey Gav." I smiled at him, and he smiled back. He was eating some kind of rabbit or something and it was in his teeth - uuugh (I'm a strict vegetarian, myself. Apart from when I eat meat.)

At that point I thought of something.

"Gavner," I said, "Can I ask you something! (oops I already did do!!!)" Gavner grunted in response.

I smiled to myself, and there was an evil glint in my eye. Gavner looked quite scared, he was quaking with fear, but he had no idea what horrific thing I was going to ask him next…


	5. take a leaflet

I decided just to leave this chapter in 3rd person, hope u like it (if u do why not review hint-hint)

Gavner's lover

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Gavner ran through the empty corridors of the mountain. Glancing over his shoulders every now and again as if he were being chased. As he turned the corner he bumped into none other than Mika!

"Err… sorry – didn't see you there" He barley looked him in the eye he was too busy darting his eyes about, searching for his pursuer.

"Are you looking for someone" Mika said slowly, looking rather puzzled.

"Err, no – what gave you that idea?" He tried to laugh it off but Mika saw right through him.

"I think I know what's going on – come with me" They walked quickly to Mika's room. Before entering Mika pulled a bunch of keys from his sleeve to unlock the door – Gavner gave a look of envy; his room had no lock…

Once inside Mika locked the door behind them.

"They've been after you haven't they?" he said suddenly very serious.

"Who?" Gavner asked, forgetting what this was all about – he had been distracted by the ceiling.

"You know who! - THEM" He boomed, Gavner looked at him blankly then realised.

"That Kurda and Darren with their stupid help club!!!" Mika nodded. Then walked over to a wardrobe.

"You see, I know how you feel" He said and opened the wardrobe, which spilled out hundreds of crudely drawn leaflets. They all had similar messages on them with the same blond vampire grinning on each one.

"They've been bugging me too"

Gavner gasped picking up one and skimming through it.

"This is all lies – he's claiming were trying to 'Suppress the minds of manipuable subjects to our prosper' what does that even mean?"

"It's a load of rabble, he 'used' to be a physiatrist you know, they make up stuff like this all the time."

"Well what can we do about it?" asked Gavner

"Well we could-" there was a knock at the door. Mika strode over unlocked it, opened it slightly then peered round.

While Gavner twiddled his thumbs, there was a quick mumbled conversation. Mika turned back to him.

"I've…Erm got to – a – meeting. Yeah a meeting!" he ran out the room in a hurry, leaving the door open. He got up to leave when someone stepped into the door way. It was HIM!

"You!" Yelled Gavner (a little too over the top…)

"Yes?" said he. It was Darren of course, just trying to be mysterious.

"What do you want now?!?" moaned Gavner.

"Nothing much, just - to ask you something…" he said trying to be casual. Gavner rolled his eyes; he knew it'd be the same question… again! He couldn't think of an excuse to leave so said.

"Go on then if you –"

"How did ya get your scars?" he snapped. Gavner was a little shocked he usually took more time before jumping to this point.

"I told you before, I got them from many great battles" Gavner said with his hands on his hips puffing out his chest.

"Really – well what about the ones on your wrists" Gavner pulled down his sleeves as he said it.

"What are you talking about? I see no scars there" he started to stroll towards the door, but Darren stepped in front of him holding out a leaflet.

"Here I think you're on stage one – Denial you need to admit you have a problem before we start helping you come to terms with it"

"Kurda must have had you up all morning learning these hasn't he –?"

"Defiantly a stage one" he mumbled and got out a scroll and pen. "Tried to change subject from his own Problem –"

"- I don't have a problem"

"- showing severe stages of denial" he scribbled away ignoring Gavners grumbles.

Darren quickly left the room smiling, probably to report back to his idol… kurda. Leaving an annoyed Gavner tearing the leaflet...


	6. what a day!

HI everyone! I hope you are reading this! This story is quite cool! but not too cool. Anyway, this chapter is in the 3rd person too!!!! Ok then. I think its time you read the story! Ok! Seeya! Bye!!

xxx

* * *

Kurda was feeling particularly down this Wednesday morning, for several reasons. Firstly he was having a bad hair day. When he got out of bed, humming to himself, he went through to his en-suite bathroom and looked in the mirror.

His scream could be heard throughout the mountain.

Kurda frantically combed his hair, and used about half a can of hairspray, in an attempt to make his hair not _quite _so bad, but alas it was in vain. Kurda sighed. He could tell today was not going to be the best day ever.

That morning he had an important prince-to-be meeting, which was not good news as he looked like he had not washed his hair like…ever…which obviously was not true, Kurda had only washed it the previous day (using his only-available-in-salons, £50 per bottle, formulated especially for blonde hair shampoo and conditioner). He sighed. Sometimes his hair seemed like the biggest problem in the world.

The next dilemma was that he had not even looked at his notes about this meeting, meaning he would be going in completely unprepared. This was really not a good day. People might start to regret having voted Kurda for a Prince. He wished he had not spent so long planning for the counselling session he was having tonight.

"What are you thinking?" He exclaimed to his reflection, while trying to cover the dark circles beneath his eyes with foundation.

"At the moment your priority should be the vampires you must take care of. They are in need of your help."

Kurda sighed. He was right. With one last look at his hideous reflection he left the room, awaiting the long day ahead.

_Later_

Kurda came out of the meeting feeling awful. He had been ganged up on by the other vampires in there who all seemed to hate his policies. He wondered why, as they had been extremely popular last time he'd mentioned them. He sighed. Now it was time for the counselling. Kurda got into his best suit, and went to try and get through to some depressed vampires. 

Only two vampires turned up. Gavner Purl and Larten Crepsley. Oh and Darren

.  
"Ok!" Kurda said, cheerily though he did not feel it. "So, you two both came which is good because it means you admit you have a problem."

"I don't have a problem!" Gavner shouted. "I was blackmailed into coming!" Gavner gave Darren an evil look.

"I, too, do not have a problem as you put it. But I had to come. For Darren." Larten added.

Kurda frowned, and stroked his chin. "Well then what I suggest we do is take it in turns to share our experiences with the group." He looked around the circle of empty chairs enthusiastically. "So, who wants to go first???" A cough went through the room. Kurda raised his eyebrows - Darren was having a small coughing fit in the corner.

"Ok then - Gavner. Tell us - what led to you self-harming?"

"Well!" Gavner began… "Firstly I don't self harm…"

And for two hours Kurda sat and listened to Larten and Gavner claiming they don't self harm, and Darren choking in the corner. Kurda sighed. He'd put aside his time to plan this meeting and it was a disaster. They'd be slitting their wrists again in no time. The whole thing just made him feel stupid. Kurda sighed, and decided that he would just have to try harder to get through to this group of hard-to-get-to vampires.

Starting tomorrow.  
Right now, Kurda just wanted a drink…or two…


	7. Alcoholic beverages!

Even Kurda had _problems..._

Gavner's lover

x

* * *

Two bottles of non-alcoholic-whisky, a glass of brandy, some white wine, a can of larger stolen from vanez, a sip of rum and many glasses of lemonade later…

Kurda was sat slumped against a wall pouring out more drinks from himself. He hiccupped as he mixed a number of _alcoholic beverages_ in a jug, he gave it a stir then downed it I one. He reached out to make another when Gavner, Larten and Mika strolled by. They nearly missed him if Mika hadn't tripped over his sorry self.

"Hey! Who put that there!" he looked round and saw Kurda then grinned "Kurda?"

Gavner and Larten (who didn't bother wait up for Mika) turned round.

"Whaaaaaaaa?"

They all crowded round to get a good look.

"Are you sure? Kurda would never sit around in a dark corridor swigging back" Larten picked up the jug squinting at it. "What's this then?"

"Give it here" said gavner and took a swig at what was left then spat it out – repulsed.

"Uh! There's no alcohol!" They looked at the bottles lying around the snoozing blond.

"Coca cola, 100 organic orange juice… Shloer (the grown up soft drink) yep this has got to be Kurda" Just the Kurda began to stir and looked up lazily at the three of them.

"Whaaaa'dya whaaaaaaaaannn t" he slurred

"Kurda you can stop the act we know your not drunk" Mika said bluntly. Kurda stared at him, his eyes a little more focused then bolted up standing.

"Actually I'm sobering up" he corrected him

"Suuuuuuuuuuuuure, you can stop faking Kurda you'd never-"

"Well excuuuuuuuuuuuse me! Everyone else has problems so why can't I" and he stormed off round the corner leaving behind a confused Larten & Gavner. Mika just shrugged and pulled out a knife.

"I might as well offer him this, he'll soon see things our way" he left dramatically, to find Kurda.

Meanwhile Kurda had found a corner and was pretending to sob to himself when Darren jogged by.

"Kurda?" he kneeled down to get a better look at him "Are you crying?"

"Are you jogging?" he mumbled

"Why yes, yes I am, but that's the point what's the matter with you"

"I'm fighting a problem of my own, now if you wouldn't mind I'd like to drown in my sorrows" he reached for a bottle (placed conveniently beside him) when Darren knocked it aside.

"Hey!"

"You need help, and I'm the one to give it to you. I know it must be I to do so as I am the only same vamp left. Now I'm off to make some leaflets – stay here" and he jogged away around a corner and out of sight. Kurda was alone.

Then right on queue Mika stepped out from the shadows.

"Hello Kurda" whispered Mika. Kurda looked round lazily (missing Mika) "Over here you-" Mika stepped out from the shadows to a surprised Kurda.

"You ruined my entrance" he grumbled

"Erm- sorry didn't know you had one" kurda answered a little confused. There was a long silence and the sound of Darren running round other parts of the mountain – probably distributing leaflets thought Kurda smiling to himself.

"Why are you smiling?" Mika quizzed

"Why are you still here?"

"Oh yeah!" and from his sleeve Mika drew out his knife. Kurda gasped (a little too OTT) he made to run but Mika stepped in his path.

"Its ok I just want to talk"

"You'll never make me do it! NEVER!" kurda boomed

"Well you don't seem to have a problem binge drinking around the mountain. Besides I'M not gonna make you do it…_you_ are" Mika smirked thrusting the knife into his hands and walking of swiftly. Once again Kurda was left alone…


End file.
